Escape from hell!!

They tried to gas us to death today!!!

I knew it all along, the physics practical exam was just a decoy...they wanted me. They lured me into the gas chamber (physics lab) and isolated me in an adjoining room saying that the apparatus was brand new there. They gave me an exeriment which i could not say no to, because i had already done it thrice. They also put a few more people in the room just to make it look authentic. To top it all they had no teachers there, so we were having a bit of fun, when they GASSED the room. It was slow poisoning. For three hours we were in the room inhaling the gas without suspecting anything. I had a headache but dismissed it as a effect of waking up too early. But then came the first casualty...

This girl was quietly looking into the travelling microscope a few feet away when she started shaking and fell off the chair, microscope and all. She fainted! The alarm was raised and there were people jumping and running about. The proffessors looked very concerned (but it was all a fake, i know). Before I could ask her what happened, she was promptly taken away...

The other guy started whining about how he thought he might faint too and left the room screaming! Paddy was there too, he felt so sick that he had to leave the hall without finishing his exam...They tried to cover up saying that it was a gas leak from the chemistry lab! Huh!

I think they did not expect so many collateral damages, so they sent someone to pretend to fix up the pipeline. But i could see through all their plans. I couldnt let them get the better of me, so i finished all my experiments with a splitting headache and left the lab with a swagger (bond style!). Take that you scheming bastards!!

Seriously, someone could have been badly poisoned today...they should have better safety measures.

I hope the girl survived.

Oh! after that, i took a painkiller and went to the book fair!!

To Shundi and Back...

I loved Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne! You just can’t get over it. It is so much fun every time you see it! And there were grandfathers with their grandchildren watching the movie, the atmosphere was soooo nostalgic! I loved it!

Going to the book fair tomorrow (for the second time). And then to the jazz concert at DI.

Not touched my books in a long time. Flunking my selections for sure. Who does a man turn to in such dire times?

Black, White and Red

He loved to see her smoke. She just sat there on the red plastic chair and smoked her third cigarette, trying to make smoke rings but failing every time. It somehow made him feel good to see her doing that. Why? He didn’t know. Just made him feel happy. He didn’t want a reason.
“So, where is this leading to?”, she turned her head slowly and fixed her eyes on him.
“Huh? ...What?”, he managed.
“Where is our non-existent conversation heading towards?”, she explained, slowly drawing in the smoke.
“Oh!” he said, gathering himself, “Well, nowhere in particular but then again, there is a finite probability that it’s heading towards an infinite number of conclusions.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”, she retorted, blowing out slowly towards him.
He blew back playfully at the smoke, “Well, it’s very non-existence implies an infinite imaginary existences, and…”
“So, what you mean to say is that…”, she cut him off.
“…Is that instead of taking something to be non-existent, why not imagine a whole plethora of possibilities in its place. It’s a cool thing to think about.”
“So, that’s what you like to do all the time? Sit and imagine?”, she asked, looking up at the garden umbrella.
“No, not really. I just like to keep my head open to all possibilities. You see, the universe is governed by the Uncertainty Principle and what it basically says is that the universe is intrinsically probabilistic: nothing is absolutely certain. So if nothing is absolutely certain, there is a small but finite uncertainty associated with it. This small uncertainty gives rise to an infinity of alternate possibilities.”, he paused for effect.
“Hmmm…”, she pondered. The cigarette had almost burnt out.
“So, we can’t be entirely certain about the non-existence of the conversation and hence we must accept the fact that there could have been an infinite number of conversations between us during that brief moment…”
“Have you always been this logically inclined?”, she enquired, flicking the cigarette butt away.
“Well, most of the time, I speak utter nonsense. Like the last few minutes in our conversation. And the interesting part is people are easily convinced that whatever I say is very serious and ‘logical’. Not for a second do they think that I have been pulling their legs all along. I like it that way…”
“Hmmm…really?”, she said, smiling a bit.

Radio Ga Ga!

Yay! I finally got the radioblog setup! Oh! I’m so excited! I thank Erebus for showing me the way, for being the guiding light! Could never have done it without you! I thank God for all the persistence he has given me (and all the brain cells he forgot to put in - I tried in vain for two months to get this thing to work)! I thank my broadband connection for always being there when I needed it! Oh! I’m so nervous! I’m sorry if I missed out some of your names! Thank you, all of you! This the most spiritually satisfying day of my life!

Hehe…

Ok! So I’ve got music on my blog now… As you can see it’s a random selection. I love listening to a random playlist. These are some of my favorites and I have quite a lot of them. Actually each of them is special in some way…lessee…
Top Gun Anthem – The first riff I ever learnt.
Creep – Reminds me of myself (though others might disagree)!
Time – The first Pink Floyd song that I ever heard (dad’s favorite).
Ordinary World – Very nostalgic, dad used to listen when I was really small.
Riders on the Storm – Blew me away, Ray is too cool.
And I Love Her – The first song I sang on stage.
Drops of Jupiter – Inspired me to write poetry!
Coyote – The coolest song I’ve ever heard!
No Rain – The only song that I have ever danced to.
Losing my Religion – My guitar debut.
Brain Damage, Eclipse – The only song I can sing well.
Layla – I worship Clapton.
With a Little Help – well…the Wonder Years…need I say more?
Purple Haze – My bass debut.
Zombie – My bathroom tune!
One Wild Night – Bon Jovi was my favorite band through most of my teenage years.
Song Remains the Same – The song and the movie that got me hooked to Led Zep.

I will change the playlist fortnightly. I can take requests as well!
Your favorite RBJ, signing off!

Jazzy...!!

Had a good time today at the jazz fest. Witnessed some alternative as well as classy and sophisticated jazz acts. The first trio was from Pondicherry called 'Three Raags' and their music was a kind of fusion of different styles. The bassist, Mishko M'ba, was amazing! He played a fretless with a bronze plated neck! And guess what, I got his phone number! We asked him to conduct a workshop, hopefully it will work out. After that there was the Eric Lohrer Quartet who played very classy stuff and the saxophonist was brilliant!
That sounded like a 10 year old writing about his picnic trip to his grandmother! Anyway...

This is something I came by: Something from the Washington Post which has a yearly contest where readers have to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Very witty aren't they?!

Paranoid Androids

Oh god it was horrible! I witnessed the hallucinations of a sexually frustrated ‘poet’ and a ‘dance’ performance by 4 ladies who bore a strong resemblance to Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. It was awful, obscene even! There was something about robots and their genitalia, a lot of lilac objects, a disappointed virginity and a whole lot of other vaguely fantastic but sexually oriented imagery. It was a phantasmagoria of galactic proportions – in the league of the Azgoths of Kria (Once during a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem “Ode to a small lump of green putty I found in my armpit one midsummer morning” four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his legs off). Makes you wonder about the poet’s personal and social life – a perennial loser!
Oh! The dance! It was straight out of Zee Horror Show – B-class, low budget horror ‘dance’. There were pieces of cloth and plastic sheets and strange markings on the plastic sheets. The background narration sounded like a 1940’s recording. It was a conversation between a poet and a non-poet which was somewhat amusing. But the ghastly dance was so unnerving I could barely understand anything said or done around me. I was mute and in shock! I’m not at all exaggerating (maybe presenting it differently), Loony can confirm.
The other poets were decent though. And the seahorse got so emotional while reading her poem that she could barely be heard. There was a decent crowd though, mostly family and friends probably, but sizeable anyway. And the poems were deeply appreciated. And there were enthusiastic camerapersons desperately trying to capture the moments. A couple of cell phones fell from the hands of their shocked owners. Overall it was a queer experience. Oh! By the way…I didn’t buy the book!! I was lucky to escape with my mental stability intact! I know I’ll get a phone call soon… Anyway...

Jazzfest 2006 - Dalhousie Institute - 21st, 22nd Jan - Do not Miss!

Looking forward to the jazz fest today, good music can do wonders to people in deep shock!

Hrmph...

It makes me mad when some people say that they are not studying. It burns me from inside when I tell people that I just started a topic and they tell me, “Arre tui-o porchhish, seems like I’m the only person not studying.” And it makes me erupt when I know that these very people go home from college at 2 o’ clock and they study 5 hours everyday mugging up programs and whenever they see me going through any textbook they come up with snide comments. One of these days I just might throttle one of them.
There will be a gathering of pseudo-intellectual antels tomorrow at a nearby bookstore, they will be attempting to release a compilation of poems written by five schizophrenics. And two of the authors want me to be there and buy a book!! It’ll be a real torture I’m sure. I really detest most of the people who are going to be present there. Why do I call them schizophrenics? That’s because they live in an illusionary universe of their own where LSD influenced hallucinations are a necessary part of everyday life. The poems they write are manifestations of those. Anyway, people find beautiful and deep meanings in the poems so I must say that they have quite a fan following.
Just a few more days of college and then its all over – I will go into solitary confinement. I think I’ll enjoy it this time *sinister laugh*.

Yawn...

Life is so dull and boring I have to pinch myself to believe it! College can get so uninteresting sometimes… last time I attended a class was a week ago… last time I had an interesting conversation was… er…uhmm…can’t remember. The time that I waste is phenomenal…sitting around, sulking at the universe, eating, playing basketball and returning home – a six hour long outing!
When I get bored I have this strangely uncomfortable sensation in my stomach and I have to breathe hard to get rid of it, and then I stop talking… I completely shut myself off, I ignore all the people around me and I get extremely grinchy! Its not nice at all, I know.

I have become overtly unsocial lately. Its like I force myself not to socialize. I cant expect a good, interesting conversation from anywhere, even for five minutes.
Or is it just me? Maybe its time to change… maybe I’m the boring guy, maybe I am not capable of keeping up a conversation, maybe it’s the other way around: people find me boring.
I think its time to really sit down and study. No time to socialize, just sit at home and study. Exams are round the corner anyway.
Or… maybe its time to unleash my alter ego – the Flirt! Let’s see if that helps…

Meatwhore - Genesis

Thwarted by the palisade of a hundred connotations, the arrows of ardor disperse in a mist of impuissance while the object of all deliberations stands proud in all her resplendence and glory. The surreptitious advances are drowned in a sea of non-acknowledgement. Harking back to the extravagant display of blatant ignorance, the belligerent thoughts subside gracefully.
The clandestine moments differentially experienced in the labyrinths of a sanguineous war dutifully reflect on the delirious intentions of a chained identity but the songs of a distant earth are inebriated amidst the undulations of insanity.
The creator stumbles upon a forgotten past and love melts away.

Have a SSSSMOKIN' new year!!

I gave the blog a new year’s gift…a brand new animated background! Looks cool doesn’t it?
31st night was an unique experience. I went to Haldia for a holiday far away from the extravagant nightlife, the incessant revelry, the overcrowded restaurants and the stooped DJ music. No Someplace Else for me this year! I spent the first few hours of my new year smoking Insignia and bitching about the entire planet with three friends. One of them is a classmate at whose place I was staying over. He loves playing cards and talking. He can carry on for hours. But he is a very nice guy. Thanks for inviting us Dipu!! The other two were from Calcutta. One of them is in BCom. He’s one hell of a businessman. He is working like mad to get his business started and he’s the most ambitious person I’ve ever seen. He’ll be a millionaire someday, I’m sure! I wish him all the luck. The second one is an eclectic individual. He can have a conversation with ANY girl and his taste in music is by any standards ‘strange’. But the best thing about him is that he has no hassle’s in life, completely carefree. Tell him to do anything or come along anywhere and he will oblige without hesitation.
We were discussing how some people could not come with us for various reasons. Someone had guests coming over, another faced problems from the family, another had to attend a tea party with his tyrannical grandmom and so on and so forth. It was possible for some to come if only they tried a bit harder. I went through that phase in class 10. Innumerable night-outs and endless adda-s were met with unending reprimand. It went on for days…every single aspect of my life was criticized but I was persistently defiant. But now it’s all cool. Not because they can’t control me anymore but because they have grown to trust me now. And so whatever I do, it’s cool with them!
I felt sorry for the people who I couldn’t even ask knowing that their answer would be ‘no’. Especially the ladies, they would love to join us. They are missing out the most amazing aspect of life – adventure. I hope some of them can join us for our next trip…
Ok…so, the new year begins thus. I somehow have a very bad feeling about this year…like something unpleasant is going to happen. I loved 2005, it was just too perfect. I came up with three resolutions for the new year: 1. Talk more 2. Smile more 3. Secret. Hope I can keep them.
Wishing everyone a SSSMOOKIN’ (‘Mask’ style) new year!!