I'm Baaaaaaack!!

Whhaaaaaaaaht a fortnight!! 14 days of a dead telephone line (that meant no internet!), 5 days of an intense tonsil infection in between (that meant no solid food for 10 days!), a performance at the Heritage Institute of Technology freshers (that meant 6 days of intense practice and regular wading through incessant rain!), three consecutive nights of un-parliamentary behaviour at Someplace Else (that meant smoking, drinking and good music after a loooong time!!) and last but not the least 14 days of SHOOTING my first film! (that meant shouting a lot at lots of people which mainly consisted of whimsical actors and my co-director!!). All this in just 14 days!!! I looooooved it!! I want to do it all over again!! I can barely move now…thoroughly exhausted and weathered! But I loved it so much!!

I come back from my 14 days of seclusion from the civilized blog-world and what do I see? My beloved blog has technical problems!! The genius that I am I fixed it in a blink of an eye and its up and running again! Look forward to a lot of blogs in the following days. I’ll be completely jobless during the next week!

To those who could not believe what they read: YES, I was shooting my first film!! It’s a horror spoof kind of thing with lots of crazy twists and outrageous dialogues! I loved working with Charulata, Don Amal, Sukumar, Maashima, bhootni Shinjini, Vibhuti, Agent Smith and Ashwini my co-director. I am eternally grateful to them for actually listening to our whimsical ideas. I’ll give you an idea: there is this house which is haunted by the ghosts of a couple who committed suicide after reading each other’s poetry, the main character, Charulata, who wears a saree 16th century style, has a brother-in-law who’s a mafia don in Sicily. The best part about making the film was the script. There was none!! No script, outright improvisation before each day’s shooting! It was great! It has come out well too! The film is dedicated to all the intellectual people who make critically acclaimed films which no one understands but claim to like very much because they are made by intellectual people. Hehe!!

Sorry, no pics on this blog, will edit soon...

Absolutist’s Guide to the Universe
Evolution I : A long, long time ago in an unfashionable end of an obscure galaxy there revolved a small yellow planet around a big brown sun. Among the several million species of arthropods and molluscs that inhabited the planet, the most intelligent was a humanoid organism with two brains. One was inside their cranium and the other hidden inside their kneecap. They called themselves the Devourosus. They are the only civilization in the universe who, in their 30 million years of evolution, have done nothing but imagine and implement new ways of cooking shellfish. They have reportedly compiled a great book cataloging 8 billion different shellfish preparations and apparently that great book itself is also in the form of a huge shellfish. The Devourosi have highly imaginative brains, having to compete with millions of others to come up with new recipes. But the brain inside their kneecaps were largely neglected and had atrophied. They were considered vestigial organs, relics of the past. What these were used for nobody knew and as if they cared until one fateful day. The greatest genius on the planet was busy meditating trying to invent a new recipe when he realized that he had reached the furthest limits of his imagination and needed more processing power. He had part of his knee-brain transplanted into his head and voila a whole new revelation dawned on him. He invented a recipe involving dried tropical spider webs! The idea was so radical that all 60 million Devourosi tried out the recipe and in 5 days their entire race was wiped out in a planetary epidemic of flatulence. The shellfish are the dominant species on the planet now and they are thriving in the high-methane-content atmosphere. They spend a lot of their research funding trying to find out the true function of the vestigial knee-brain of the extinct Devourosi. The moral of the story is: never put ketchup in your ‘saute’d dried tropical spider web’ preparation.